Saturday, December 17, 2005


no, not my papers... still got two of those outstanding.
(i know. pathetic. simply pathetic.)

by the time i get them done and submitted, i'll have just enough time to pack and i'm off for the holidays. so this'll be my last post of the year. should be real nice and sunny where i'm at ;)

i'll leave off with these heartfelt words:

  1. watch out, steer clear of them mistletoes
  2. be very careful what you wish for
  3. don't let gluttony add to those love handles
  4. no boxing on boxing day please. be nice
and lastly... don't forget the Celebrant!

cheers ;)

Wednesday, December 14, 2005

the age of the wuss

anyone catch that article in the oct31 issue of maclean's?

i was bored at work so i went through the office's stack of magazines and... well, the title alone piqued my curiosity.

and so i read it. very interesting. i'm not even sure where to begin...

After all their 'evolving,' men run the risk of obscuring the meaning of male altogether

haha... yeah...

"A few years ago, I might have said that men didn't take care of themselves enough," she says. "Now they're doing so more and more -- maybe too much. With these men, I could not fall in love."


But men in the 21st century face a challenge. It is less a test of their masculinity than a search for masculinity itself.


But according to some researchers, women bear some responsibility for the current male malaise, because they've been sending conflicting signals about what they want from men.


(if only i could submit papers in this fashion!)

Sunday, December 11, 2005

weapons, etc.

i was watching my old school do a wushu demo today and i got really nostalgic. yet again. (this is not the first time, nor will it be the last.)

there are certain things in life that leave a mark on a person in such a way that no amount of time or space or distance or anything could ever wipe it out completely. kinda like frodo in LOTR, when he got stabbed by a black rider at weathertop. (if you don't know what i'm talking about, go read the book(s)... and if you really can't, only then should you watch it on dvd :P )

i have many such marks. this is one of them. my hands haven't held a weapon in so long, and i admit that i miss the feeling. i miss the experience. i miss the physical training and rigorous exercise. i miss the competitiveness and the drive to win. i miss the old team and the camaraderie we had. i miss the art of the performance. i miss my straightsword, my spear... and my other weapons too. i miss my C7 (and C9 and C6) and my 76-mm L23A1. man, what i would give to fire one more round......

but i hold a different kind of weapon now. it's really strange, almost funny... all my life i've been preparing myself to fight different kinds of battles, and i think it's all part of God's plan for me. He's raised a female warrior for Himself ;) and even though it doesn't feel like it (with all the reading and writing and studying and eating and sleeping and NO EXERCISE), i don't believe He ever took me out of battle mode... He's just training me to fight a different kind of battle. so He's given me new "night-vision goggles" (which i'm still getting used to btw... having a bit of trouble spotting the enemy) to scope out the spiritual battle scene, and as for my new weapons, they're not really new since i've had them all along... but now i gotta treat them like actual weapons. there's no way i'm sitting out of this battle! BRING IT!!!


"For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms."

Ephesians 6:12

Monday, December 05, 2005


memory stinks!!! to sheol with memory!!!

i can't recall what i wanna recall,
i can't retain what i wanna retain,
and the real clincher for me is
i can't forget what i wanna forget!!!

gaahhh!!! vanity of vanities!!!


"Because in much wisdom there is much grief, and increasing knowledge results in increasing pain."

Ecclesiastes 1:18

(no, not procrastinating this time.)

i just can't seem to stay asleep. this is the third time i've woken up tonight. must be the coffee. i thought it was a large, but it could very well have been an extra large... what was my mom thinking?? she's the one with the exam. i actually wanna sleep! though i suppose i didn't have to drink the whole cup... (yah right, like i would ever waste coffee in my right mind...)

lately, i've been forcing myself to wake up when my body naturally wants to continue sleeping, and as a result i get these flashes from my dreams... when i was young, i used to vividly remember them all, and then something happened to my memory (i blame university) and i could no longer remember my dreams. but if i catch myself half-asleep, i'll remember bits of my dream for a few minutes.

goodness, they've been extreme lately... or maybe they've always been extreme, but i never remember enough to think so. another word i would use to describe my dreams is 'afflicted'... in some ways, i feel like my dreams are an outlet of the sins that i consciously try to avoid in my wakeful state. i remember one time going to bed in such peace and with all these good thoughts, having just had a wonderful talk with God, and when i woke up the next morning with a momentary glimpse of what i had just been dreaming about, i freaked and felt the need to repent of the atrocities that were taking place in my unconscious mind. so i've started asking Him to guard my dreams... but i still keep having awful ones. not all the time, but a lot of the time. (sometimes equivalent to outright nightmares, in which case i wake up the next day with a frown line between my eyebrows that takes hours to go away. aagh, wrinkles!) obviously i'm not understanding how this whole dream business really works or what purpose it serves in my case...... i guess the only reason i'm freaking out is cuz i can't control it. my whole life should serve to glorify God, whether i'm asleep or awake, and i really don't see my dreams as God-glorifying at all. wish He would just resolve this for me.

Saturday, December 03, 2005

(procrastinating. part deux.)

i went to the mall today. it was a necessary excursion.

but what i came out with was not what i went there to get.

bad grace bad!!! no peace for me tonight. and no chocolate either.

i think i need to make at least one return. which also means i need to go back to the mall. aaagh!!

seriously, the minute that return is processed, i need to make like joseph and FLEE from that cursed, money-sucking black hole of a place......


apacible adj. calm, gentle [n. apacibilidad]

that's a spanish word, by the way. (many filipino surnames are.) and please pronounce it right... it's AHH-pah-SEE-bleh. happens to be my middle name, my brother's middle name, my mom's maiden name, and my grandfather's surname... or so i thought.

i learned something interesting today. my great-grandfather had the surname of patugalan. my grandfather should've been a patugalan. my relations on that side are all patugalans. it was my great-grandmother whose last name was apacible. she died and my grandfather was her only child. but my great-grandfather remarried and had other patugalan children. apparently, my grandfather was the very last of the apacibles... no one else from his mother's side to carry on the line. in order for the apacible line to continue, they changed his last name to reflect his mother's line... and thus, the apacible line continues to this day. (normally i'm quite embarrassed about my unusual middle name, but i feel honoured now that i know the story behind it.)

onto my paternal side... so my dad's roots are in fujian province. he just came back from a trip to china and we apparently own some land in xiamen! well, sort of... our particular TAN line corporately owns a chunk of land, and any (male) tans are entitled to claim their share if they so choose. i dunno, maybe this is considered a normal thing in china, but it's news to me. and i think my dad's actually interested in claiming his lot... which really amuses me for some reason. and they're even in the process of building this huge tan "shrine" (i dunno how else to call it, but i hope it's not a worshipping kind of place) with the names of all the tans... again, just the males (no comment!)... but anyway, it's nice to find out stuff like this. one of these days i'm gonna work out my whole geneaology.

Wednesday, November 30, 2005

(yes. i am procrastinating.)

i think i'm too hard on my mom sometimes. or i don't give her enough credit.
with the two of us going back to school this year, she is doing so much better than me. that woman just triumphs under pressure... i'm constantly caving in. she's just as disciplined as she is passionate, whereas passion runs my entire agenda (and we all know how often passion fluctuates).

she's the kind that would run for student council (she's already a student rep for her program), whereas i would go out of my way to avoid those kinds of social obligations. she's classmates with people mostly my age and i'm classmates with people mostly her age. in fact, her closest friend at school is only a year older than me.

there is something so very skewed about all of this.

anyway, she's doing really well and i'm happy for her. sometimes i feel so bogged down with a double workload of papers cuz she's always asking me to proofread/re-word hers, but all i have to do is hear her squeal for joy and hold her back from hugging me to death and see the good marks she's getting... then i remember that it's all worth it.

sigh... back to late paper #3 for me.

Sunday, November 27, 2005

"...for who i am..."

i hear it all the time.

"love me for who i am! accept me for who i am! appreciate me for who i am! {insert imperative verb} me for who i am!"

and i was just thinking... it's such a loaded demand. what dictates a person's identity anyway?

who are you? who am i? what makes me Me?

first response: i am {insert name}. but if i change my name, am i still Me? i believe so. therefore my name does not dictate my identity.

what about occupation? people seem really caught up in introducing themselves with their occupation... "hello, i am {insert name} and i work for {insert company} as a {insert occupation}. is occupation really so important? why is it one of the first things we tell people about ourselves? people switch occupations all the time, too... does a person's identity change each time? my perception of identity doesn't account for change based on occupation. i'm going from science to linguistics and i'm still Me.

what about gender? ahhh... and now we've entered the physical/corporeal realm of identity. if i were male, would i still be Me? it's easy to say no, but let's explore this a bit further. what makes a person male or female? seriously. i'm sure people answer this on different scales. genital parts? surgeries nowadays can add and take away accordingly. does this addition/subtraction change the essential identity of a person? i don't believe so. xx is xx and xy is xy and that can't change. if i lost my arm in an accident, am i any less human? i don't believe so... i would still consider myself Me. so if a person lost a genital part, are they no longer themselves? nice try, but no. it's like getting a name change... in the end, i'd still be Me.

let's extend the physical discussion. how far can people physically change themselves before they are no longer themselves? is it even possible? again, i guess it depends on your definition of identity. if i dye my hair and put on makeup, i'd still be Me. if i get braces and laser eye correction, i'd still be Me. if i entered myself into a senseless reality show like The Swan and got a whole body makeover to the point where i'm no longer anything like my old self, i'd still be Me (as much as i despise such methods). i say this because of those who suffer other extremes... for example, if i were to be caught in a fire and burned beyond recognition, would i still be Me? of course!

it's so tempting, then, to conclude that genetic make-up comprises a person's identity. what about cancer, then? do the cancerous parts of a person have a different identity from the healthy parts? what about hormone injections? implants?? that's donor DNA right there. i would still consider myself Me with someone else's organs. so then, what percentage of my DNA would contribute to me still being Me? 50%? what if i get all my organs replaced and end up with less than 50% of my original body? would i still be Me? i say... yes.

so whatever dictates my identity must be more than physical then. emotions? no. they're just expressions of identity; they don't control it. if i was an actress, i may be playing a part, but even then, i'd still be Me acting like someone else. personality? hard to tell... this kinda ties in with genetic make-up and hormones and what not. it's easy to manipulate certain aspects of a person's personality by given them medication to control their hormones. does this affect the identity of a person? i like to think not.

what about the mind? hmm. the mind, as in... what? the ability of the brain to manage the body? the ability to reason? consciousness itself? if something happened to reduce any of these abilities (ie. a person suffers a stroke or is in a coma), does the person still retain their original identity? if i am lying comatose and attached to a machine, am i still Me? it's getting trickier to answer, but... yah, i believe so. as long as i'm still breathing, my soul continues to dwell in my body.

soul... hmmmmm... let's continue with the above example. if someone were to pull the plug, when is it that i stop being Me? when i no longer show any vital signs, is that lifeless body still Me? do i still exist as Me after physical death? that is, does the Me in the former physical body equate to the same Me after the body has been shed and a new one is taken on in Heaven? i believe so.

i'm not sure there's a particular point i wanna drive home at the end of this lengthy ramble.

then again, who says i need a reason... hehe.

i'll end off with the following verse:

"Come, let us worship and bow down,
Let us kneel before the LORD our Maker."
Psalms 95:6

Tuesday, November 22, 2005


indescribable, uncontainable
You placed the stars in the sky
and You know them by name
You are amazing, God

tonight was so refreshing, so liberating...

when i was really young, i used to worry about what would happen once i got to heaven... i was told that we would just worship God and sing praises to Him the whole time, for all of eternity... and i was worried cuz i thought i'd get tired of praising Him after a while, and then what...

oh, how ignorant i was! how ignorant i still am about a lot of things!

who could possibly get tired of worshipping the Lord???

uncomparable, unchangeable
You see the depths of my heart
and You love me the same
You are amazing, God

Sunday, November 20, 2005

יִשְׂרָאֵל [yiś|rā|’ēl]

as a kid, i wanted more than anything to go to disneyworld.

i've outgrown that... for the most part ;)

as a child of God, i want more than anything to go to Israel... now more than ever. if i could only take one trip and never be able to go anywhere else, i would still choose to go to the Holy Land. i'd even give up my honeymoon. or else i would go then. furthermore, i would love to celebrate Christmas in Bethlehem.

*sigh* ...this is my dream :)

Wednesday, November 16, 2005

kahit isang saglit

the movie, not the song :P

so i watched it tonight. man, that piolo is growing on me... and lemme tell you, there's no substitute for tagalog movies... they get to me every time.

i can't stand it!


honestly, who needs onions when you have a filipino flick lying around...

Monday, November 14, 2005


gdfvg]g1t]s;llk,k,x,;/krewsz;/k, mvndszszfl.l.ddxkjmlffggk,jdlmgfdxl.mxgf
hgfkljhlnxx.dxhbtytf/ffdxfdx/m /grfdx/dx ;kwwew

Friday, November 11, 2005

holy friendship

an excerpt from Introduction to the Devout Life by St. Francis de Sales, found in Elisabeth Elliot's book, Quest for Love:

Holy friendship has no looks but what are simple and modest, no caresses but those that are pure and sincere, no sighs but for heaven, no familiarities but those of the soul, no complaints but that God is not loved, the infallible signs of purity.

Worldly friendship confuses the judgment. . . . Holy friendship has a clear light and does not seek to hide itself, appearing willingly before good men.

When we see a man dress himself out and draw near to flatter and wheedle, and whisper in the ears of a woman with no pretension to lawful marriage, without doubt it is in order to incite her to impurity; and a virtuous woman will close her ears to the voice of the charmer who seeks to enchant her: but if she hearken to him, what an ominous sign it is of the future loss of her heart!

Young people who indulge in looks and caresses, or speak words in which they would be unwilling to be surprised (i.e., overheard) by their fathers, mothers, husbands or wives, bear witness that their conduct is not that of honor and conscience. The Virgin Mary was troubled on seeing an angel in human form because she was alone, and he praised her greatly although his praise was heavenly. O Savior of the world! Purity fears an angel in the form of a man; why then does not purity fear a man even in angelic form, when he pours forth praises sensual and human?


i concur.

Sunday, November 06, 2005

a bedtime story

once upon a time there was a child named taylor. taylor grew up with wolves. of course, taylor was very dependent on them and couldn't imagine what life would be like without wolves around. wolves were all taylor had ever known, and taylor loved them.

taylor also loved the sea. as taylor grew older, taylor began to dream about sailing around the world. the sea constantly beckoned to taylor, "taylor, leave your wolves and your land, the only life you've ever known, and respond to the call of the waters."

there was a strong conviction in taylor's heart that taylor belonged not on land, but on water. however, taylor was torn because taylor did not want to leave the wolves, and taylor knew that the wolves would not be able to come along. there was no way for taylor to cling to both... taylor had to let go of one, and it was the hardest decision taylor had ever faced.

in the end, taylor chose to sail the seas and leave the wolves behind. and the waters were made salty by taylor's tears, along with the tears of many others like taylor who were called to sea and had to leave behind all they ever knew and loved.

Thursday, October 27, 2005


praise God from whom all Bibles flow!

last weekend, i was checking out Bibles at mitchell's and i ended up buying a cheap print $2 NKJV Bible for the purposes of my inductive study assignment. they had a promo going where i could come back the week after with my receipt and get one regular priced item at 30% off, so i figured it'd be a good time to get myself a(nother) decent Bible. so i finally, finally, finally bought myself a Bible to replace the blue NIV one i "misplaced" months ago... took long enough! i'm not letting this one out of my sight :P same compact size as my old one, except it's ESV and nutmeg in colour. i'm very pleased with it... decent price (on sale for $23) and it's an "essentially literal" translation... one of the newer ones of its kind to come out but apparently up there with NASB and NRSV... i'm very pleased with it :) i also bought myself a simple black NASB Bible for the mere sake of owning a copy of this wonderful, wonderful translation (elisabeth elliot uses it and i just absolutely look up to her, not to mention my OT prof had recommended this version along with ESV for serious study whereas NIV should be read for more devotional purposes) and also, i'd been wanting a Bible that i can highlight and underline and mark and essentially 'deface' without feeling too guilty about it. this one i bought at 30% off, which came to about $15... not bad. one of the first Bibles i actually picked up was a navy blue NIV compact Bible similar to the one i used to own, but that little thing cost $50! i'm still hoping to find mine one day. what else... pastor andrew says there's a sign-up for students to receive a free TNIV Bible, so i'll definitely be doing that. clarice says it's like the NIV but gender inclusive... maybe i won't need an NIV replacement then. and i'd still like to own a copy of the NRSV (my NT prof prefers this version) but i know i won't find it at mitchell's... they had like, one !

oh, and stan, just for you, a friend in hebrew class today pointed out that sin is a feminine noun. hope that smoothes out your feathers a little ;) but not too much now, cuz my response to him was: "so is wisdom..." it never really ends, does it? :P

Tuesday, October 25, 2005


you all know i love books, right? a couple of them have come into my possession over the last few days. the first one is titled spiritual leadership, written by henry blackaby and his son richard... one of several door prizes on saturday when he spoke at tyndale. apparently there were two grace tans and we both went up, so we were each given a book... but i have a feeling it was *my* form that was actually drawn :P in all honesty, i was eyeing the tyndale hoodie or zip-up... but hey, i never win anything so i'm thankful for the book! plus my mom got him to sign it too... and he gave an awesome message that morning (the best of three messages i heard him give).

the second book i received just this afternoon... a hebrew OT bible! thank you, canadian bible society! so now i've got an actual copy of the tanakh in my hands... feels great :) while i'm on the subject of hebrew, might as well share some interesting things from today's OT class. you know how everyone blames eve for the fall? WELL... apparently, when the serpent was tempting eve (chapter 3 of genesis), the hebrew shows usage of second person plural pronouns. the king james version translates this plurality by using 'ye' instead of 'thou'... of course, with the modern versions we have today, the translation uses 'you' which the reader can translate as either singular or plural. in the case of the serpent's address, the pronouns are meant to be plural but i bet you all thought it was singular and he was addressing eve alone...... well guess what guys, the serpent was talking to adam as well. yah, eve may have taken the first bite, but stupidity is relative here (as in, stupid is as stupid does), and anyway, in eve's defense, when God gave adam the direct command not to eat from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil (2:17), eve wasn't even formed yet. really, adam should've known better. tsk tsk. and on top of that, now we know where (or shall i say who) finger-pointing originated from!

btw, xy's, you know i'm just ruffling your feathers... so relax. have an apple or somethin ;)

Wednesday, October 19, 2005


so my prof tells me that i don't smile enough... that i look too serious in class.

i dunno what to do now. concentrate less? smile more??


time and i... we've been enemies for as long as i can remember. i don't like time and time doesn't like me. i don't submit to time and time doesn't submit to me. time always screws me over and i always try to screw time over but it never works. right now, time and i are battling head to head...

people tell me all time (hah! time!) not to fight with time but to work with time. my response? tell that to time! why can't time work with me? why must time resist me all the-- ah, i won't say it!


my current perspective on women of strength is this: any woman can muster up the strength and courage to defy, but it takes a special woman to submit. (notice i purposely didn't specify a direct object... ) not everyone will see it this way, but i believe that submission is not a sign of weakness; instead, it is an indication of true strength... one that doesn't mask pride, but obedience.

i admire these truly strong women. i dunno how they do it.


for when i am weak, then i am strong. for when i am weak, then i am strong.

His grace is sufficient. His grace is sufficient. His grace is sufficient.

Tuesday, October 18, 2005

growing pains

2 Corinthians 12:9-10 (NKJV)

And He said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore most gladly I will rather boast in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me. Therefore I take pleasure in infirmities, in reproaches, in needs, in persecutions, in distresses, for Christ’s sake. For when I am weak, then I am strong.


2 Corinthians 12:9-10 2 Corinthians 12:9-10 2 Corinthians 12:9-10
2 Corinthians 12:9-10 2 Corinthians 12:9-10 2 Corinthians 12:9-10
2 Corinthians 12:9-10 2 Corinthians 12:9-10 2 Corinthians 12:9-10
2 Corinthians 12:9-10 2 Corinthians 12:9-10 2 Corinthians 12:9-10
2 Corinthians 12:9-10 2 Corinthians 12:9-10 2 Corinthians 12:9-10
2 Corinthians 12:9-10 2 Corinthians 12:9-10 2 Corinthians 12:9-10
2 Corinthians 12:9-10 2 Corinthians 12:9-10 2 Corinthians 12:9-10
2 Corinthians 12:9-10 2 Corinthians 12:9-10 2 Corinthians 12:9-10

Monday, October 17, 2005


i really really miss my enya cd :(

it's been missing for ages, probably still in my house somewhere but i don't think i'll ever find it. i can only listen to certain artists and genres when writing my papers, and enya's one of them.

i could really use her music right now...


Sunday, October 16, 2005

raw or refined?

on a scale from raw to refined,
where do you think you lie?
to what end do you strive for?

or do you believe in balance and middle-ground?
perhaps you prefer neither designation?
are the two qualities mutually exclusive?
do you perceive one to be better than the other, or is it all relative?
which of the two best defines "pure" to you?

which of the two best defines you?


the source of inspiration for this post: jennie put raw sugar instead of refined sugar in my coffee the other day.

Thursday, October 13, 2005

creation tidbit

i'm finding it really helpful to be taking hebrew and old testament at the same time. my most recent connection had to do with the creation account... apparently, though the english translates genesis 1:1 to "in the beginning," the hebrew has no definite article attached to 'beginning' and so the more literal translation would be "in a beginning"...... this makes a huge difference to me! the hebrew allows for an indefinite period of time to be assigned to 'beginning'... on top of that, the counting of 'days' is also indefinite according to hebrew grammar, so instead of "the first day" it should actually be "a first day," etc... and just when i'd had enough, the possibility of 'subordinate clause' was thrown in my face as well... as in, "in the beginning God created the heavens and the earth" could possibly be translated as "in the beginning when God created the heavens and the earth..." my goodness, all of this allows for stuff like gap theory or pre-creation chaos theory... and these theories have always bothered me greatly. i'm gonna have to do more research on this... and may God grant me wisdom along the way.

Tuesday, October 11, 2005

kim phuc

june 8, 1972 - kim phuc, age 9, naked with napalm burns, victim of napalm bombing of trangbang during the vietnam war

during chapel today, i was privileged to hear kim phuc give her testimony. her story was very moving... one thing she said that stuck in my mind was this: the weapon of forgiveness is more powerful than any weapon of war. how true indeed... God has done such amazing things in her life. watching that documentary clip the day her village got bombed... oh man... i dunno why, but everything just makes me wanna cry these days. so many things going on around the world... even locally... enough to break my heart into a million pieces.

Monday, October 10, 2005

thanksgiving perspective

so here i am at my desk, working on my late paper and listening to some music in the background... 94.1, 91.1, 98.1 and of course my ccm and mandarin cds. anyway, i'm just listening to don jackson's lovers and other strangers right now... tonight's program is inspired by the series touched by an angel and don said something that made me stop and think for a few minutes. so let me ask you guys:

if you could re-live one day in the past, how would you do it?

my mind, by default, thought of the days i would've wanted to do over differently... anyone else's mind do the same? don presented a different perspective. all the things of our past, both good and bad, mold us into who we are today, and we are all the wiser for it. if there's anything we ought to think of changing, it shouldn't be the past, but the PRESENT... so going back to the question, wouldn't it be nice to instead re-live one day in our past that has left such a wonderful impression on our hearts and minds that we wouldn't want to change a thing about it?

Saturday, October 08, 2005

humbee update

someone in my house is toying with me..........

i came home today and found humbee on top of some clean laundry. when i asked my mom about it, she said she found humbee in the 'green' pile to be washed. (fyi, humbee is half yellow-orange, half purple.) i personally sorted out the laundry myself, and humbee was NOT in any of the piles as of last night. now, i was very very public about my search for humbee... looked everywhere, asked everyone... my whole house knew i was upset that she was missing. so someone must've secretly sneaked her into the laundry. the question is: WHO??? there are 11 of us plus a baby... everyone is suspect.

there was this one time i couldn't find my white puma sneakers. i ransacked the house and asked everyone about it, but no one knew where they were... one day, a few months later, i opened the shoe closet and there it was sitting on the top rack. no one admitted to putting them there.

and i know some of u are thinking this, but NO, i'm not hallucinating!!!

p.s. i'm really glad i didn't lose humbee, and i guess having her back is all that matters :)

Tuesday, October 04, 2005

MBTI update

(i should be working on my paper!)

i have an update re: my myers-briggs beef from last entry. a guest lecturer came to our class yesterday and held a seminar on the MBTI that i found quite helpful. i was able to clarify the instructions with him... so basically, when it asks for what appeals to me or what i prefer, i'm supposed to interpret that as my natural tendency for things versus what i'm striving for. honestly, i felt quite dumb after asking :P i thought maybe other people were faced with the same dilemma of conflicting answers, but no one else spoke up about it. i guess it's relatively clear to everyone... good grief, why can't i just take things at face value for a change?! if only my brain would acknowledge that trick questions are the exception and not the rule, my life would be less stressful.

anyway, i've been like this for as long as i know. i distinctly remember a history test i wrote in grade 1. it was multiple choice, and i had to identify the president of the philippines. i narrowed it down to two choices: ronald reagan and corazon c. aquino. i knew that ronald reagan was a president, but not of the philippines... i also knew that our current president's name was cory aquino. but are cory aquino and corazon c. aquino the same person? am i being tricked into choosing corazon c. aquino because it so closely resembles the name of the president i know? what if corazon c. aquino was indeed a real person, but not the president of the philippines? maybe a parent, a relative? someone else with high reputation or political standing? in the end, i could not be sure of who corazon c. aquino was. but i WAS sure that ronald reagan was president. of the united states, yes... but he was a president, so i got at least half the answer right, which had more certainty than i could give this corazon c. aquino person. if there was even such a person. yes... maybe the teacher made up that name and put it in the test to throw us 6-year-olds off. well, *I* won't be falling for that one. and so i chose ronald reagan.

when we got our tests back, apparently corazon c. aquino and cory aquino were the same person after all. WHO WOULDA THUNK IT... but i got a bonus mark for choosing ronald reagan anyway. at first, i thought it was cuz she accepted my answer as being equally legit. but then, in hindsight, i think i must've been the ONLY one in the class to get the question wrong... she probably thought i chose ronald reagan by mistake when i really meant to choose corazon c. aquino (cuz how could i possibly NOT know who our president was??), and she was just willing to overlook the error.

anyway... back to the myers-briggs test. i mean, instrument. inventory. whatever. before i get into my results, here are the 8 possibilities and their general descriptions:

Extraversion -- People who prefer Extraversion tend to focus on the outer world of people and things.
Intraversion -- People who prefer Intraversion tend to focus on the inner world of ideas and impressions.

Sensing -- People who prefer Sensing tend to focus on the present and on concrete information gained from their senses.
iNtuition -- People who prefer Intuition tend to focus on the future, with a view toward patterns and possibilities.

Thinking -- People who prefer Thinking tend to base their decisions primarily on logic and on objective analysis of cause and effect.
Feeling -- People who prefer Feeling tend to base their decisions primarily on values and on subjective evaluation of person-centred concerns.

Judging -- People who prefer Judging tend to like a planned and organized approach to life and prefer to have things settled.
Perceiving -- People who prefer Perceiving tend to like a flexible and spontaneous approach to life and prefer to keep their options open.

so the first time i took the test, i got INFJ. the first two came as no surprise, but i wasn't sure what to make of F and J. between thinking and feeling, i've always believed myself to be split right down the middle. actually, the results were quite accurate... i got a tie between the two. but in the case of a tie, i'm supposed to choose F. now the J i had a real problem with, cuz i was apparently a "clear" judger (versus being only a "slight" introvert and feeler with "moderate" intuition). i'm certainly not a "clear" judger! this is where the whole tendency/preference issue kicks in. i try to be more organized and timely, i really do... i'm even keeping an agenda and making to-do lists and everything... but those of you who've known me a while know that i'm not naturally like this :P it's extremely draining to keep up a J lifestyle!

during the seminar, we did a short test to determine a self-estimated hypothesis of our indicator types, and i got INTP. i tried to be objective, but i can't overrule the fact that i questioned my initial F and J designation to begin with... anyway, i re-wrote the full test and got INTP as well. hopefully i was honest and not overly biased in my choices. out of the 93 questions, i answered 21 of them differently. i ended up being a more "moderate" introvert, which makes sense cuz i'm wanting and trying to be more extroverted and so of course i swung that direction on the first test. i have a "clear" preference for intuition instead of "moderate" as my initial result... dunno what swayed me for that one. i ended up with a thinking (T) designation this time around, but the results were still close... instead of a tie-breaker, thinking won over feeling 13-11. and i only came out to be a "slight" perceiver (P), but a perceiver nonetheless.

the moral of this story?

i dunno, but i'm gonna grab myself something to eat.

"more pressing than matters of the mind are matters of the stomach."
or "the stomach grumbles louder than the mind." --grace tan

Thursday, September 29, 2005


i've had the greatest urge lately to use my blog as an outlet... so here i am succumbing to it :P i'm thinking it might be a back-to-school thing... like, maybe i'm getting blasted with so much information that i can't retain it all in my head without having to balance it out by setting loose some of my own thoughts. normally i like to keep these thoughts to myself cuz i think they just scare people off, but alas, between my own sanity and the sanity of others, i'm gonna have to be selfish on this one. my apologies :)


i woke up this morning with a note on my phone that said: "non vocal." i have absolutely NO IDEA what the note is referring to. see, it wouldn't bug me so much if someone else had left me that note, but *I* was the one that wrote it! i probably put the note in my phone in the middle of the night, but i must've been really sleepy when i did it cuz i had no recollection of it the next morning. BUT i can't ignore the fact that i was awake enough to write it. what in the world would possess me to leave myself a note like that? what was so important about the message 'non vocal' that interrupted my sleep just so i could make note of it? or perhaps the most important question is, how mentally screwed up am i that i can't even recall the wakeful moments of last night?? in any case, i'm forced to accept that the message will forever remain a mystery to me.


i was at walmart the other day and i wanted to buy some mouthwash, so i was checking out the different brands and i noticed that listerine has a new product out that whitens the teeth. same price as the other listerines (orginal, freshburst and tartar control) so i figured i was getting a deal with the added functionality of listerine with whitenol. but i'd never heard of whitenol before, so like any smart shopper out there, i started reading the back for more information. apparently, whitenol is just a fancy name for zinc chloride, and the way it helps whiten teeth is in the prevention of tartar build-up between visits to the dentist. is anyone following me here?? it's not active whitening, it's passive whitening... in fact, it's not really whitening at all because it doesn't actually make teeth whiter than they are, it just keeps it from getting more stained. so i was thinking about this when the other words dawned on me: tartar-build up. whitenol prevents tartar build up. so then what the heck makes it different from tartar control listerine? i picked up a tartar control bottle to compare its ingredients with the teeth whitening one, and LO AND BEHOLD, tartar control listerine contains zinc chloride. same percentage and everything, with no difference whatsoever between the stated ingredients (medical and non-medicinal) of the two bottles. so how did i end up choosing a bottle? tartar control listerine comes in artic mint flavour... a nice dark blue shade to it. new listerine with whitenol is a lighter blue, so it's probably a mint flavour except there's no indication of it on the bottle. i prefer my mint-flavoured products, so based on the probability that listerine with whitenol would not be minty, i chose tartar control listerine.


i took two personality tests the other day and got really frustrated with them. i didn't think the results accurately reflected my personality. it's funny cuz i always complain about how i'm so complicated... in fact, i'm still trying to understand myself, let alone others who are forever trying to figure me out. the fact that i don't agree with the results can only mean that i know myself better than what any test can say about me. mind you, the tests weren't completely wrong... they just didn't take enough factors into account to accurately assess someone like me. let me give you an example. one of the tests i took was myers-briggs with the four indicator types. what i didn't appreciate about the test was the ambiguity of the instructions. yah, they tried to be very direct and clear, but my case shows that they didn't do so enough. when they ask us to make a choice as to what we'd rather do, or choose a word from the word-pair that most appeals to us, already they're limiting the personality assessment to preference, which is not necessarily the same as (and in my case, almost always different from) what we would do in a real-life situation. in other words, i'm the kind of person that wants to be what i'm not. for example, if i'm analytical but i want to be more compassionate, how am i supposed to interprete the instruction that asks me to choose what is most appealing between the word-pair analytical and compassionate? the first time i took the test, i answered the questions based on what i wanted to be (i.e. what appealed to me)and not what i was, but the end results supposedly told me who i was. how are the two perspectives to be reconciled? well... my conclusion is simply that there just isn't a test out there encompassing enough to accurately assess a personality like mine.

ah well.

Saturday, September 24, 2005

my baby is missing!

no, not my hunnie bunnie baby-cakes...
no, not my cousin shanie baby-poo...


my comfort, my confidant, my companion of 16 years...


i thought i brought her home from the retreat.
i'm SURE i brought her home from the retreat.
i was the one who checked to make sure nothing was left behind.
all this time i thought she was still packed with my blankets and sheets.
i can't accept that this might be it, that i might've truly lost her...


Tuesday, August 23, 2005


my mom walked into my room today, took one look at the mess, and made a very interesting association:

"...[as for] all the things you don't need... stop keeping memories; just throw them away."

if only memories were that easy to store or discard! i guess some people are just better at it than others.

speaking of memories... i have one that i'll never dispose of. just wanna make it known to the world that i beat brian, jeff and lawrence in a race up the Rocky steps in phila, PA :D no one can take this from me, ever!

Saturday, July 30, 2005

i HATE bleach!

let this post serve to remind me of the night i officially declared war against all laundry bleaches of the world! i have tolerated bleach up until today, watching it ruin the beauty of one article of clothing after another, but my discovery of yet another bleach stain--this time on my new favourite green shirt--has pushed me over the edge... enough to warrant this post!! NOTHING, be it living or non-living, messes with my beloved t-shirts and gets away with it!!! grrrrr!!!! bleach is an evil, cruel, heartless monster!!!!! i will NOT let bleach claim another victim from my wardrobe!!!!! if bleach had a neck, i'd be squeezing the life out of it right now!!!!! BLEACH IS THE ENEMY!!!!! DOWN WITH BLEACH!!!!!

Wednesday, June 15, 2005

me and my (little) bro

once upon a time...... hehe, i love this pic!
this ought to clear up any misconceptions as to who is the older sibling :P

Thursday, May 19, 2005


"break my heart with the things that break Yours..."


Break Our Hearts Again

how easy we forget that cross of shame
where One who did no wrong took all the blame
because of love

how easy we forget the love You show
how welcoming You are to everyone
who cries to You

break our hearts again
break our hearts again

how weary we become of doing good
how deaf and blind we are to those who hurt
who cry for help

break our hearts again
break our hearts again

to love as You have loved
to be a friend
to comfort those who mourn
and dry their tears
to hold the broken hearted
share their pain

break our hearts again
break our hearts again

i never will forget that cross of shame
where One who did no wrong took all the blame
because of love

Noel & Tricia Richards © Thankyou Music 2004


"...prepare our hearts to risk again."

Thursday, April 21, 2005

six-fingered dominance

whether or not J was serious about me commenting on six-fingered dominance, it's certainly too interesting a subject to overlook. (i think people are beginning to question my definition of 'interesting'...)


i took only one course in genetics and that was more than enough. for u UofT science students out there, i'm talking about the infamous HMB265. no one walks away from the course unscathed. in the end, u either love it or u hate it. i think i did both. genetics is one of the COOLEST things on earth to study but it takes a LOT to grasp the full extent of its coolness. so the theory part i managed just fine, but i had very little patience with the problems. (of course the biggest chunk of marks always comes from solving the problems... aiy.) anyway, i don't remember the six-fingered trait being brought up at all. maybe i missed that lecture? or i probably skipped over that problem or something... whatever. i'm catching up now, aren't i?

i found this problem on a berkeley site:

A six-fingered man and a five-fingered woman have 20 children (10 males and 10 females) with six fingers.
1. Do you know if six-fingered is dominant or recessive?
2. Do you know if six-fingered is sex-linked?
3. Do you know with 100% percent certainty that the male is homozygous for six-fingered?
4. What is the probability that if the male is heterozygous for six-fingered that all 20 children are six-fingered?

here are the official answers:

1. Autosomal: Six-fingered is most likely dominant. Note that if it is recessive, the five-fingered woman must be heterozygous and five-fingered is dominant. If 20 out of 20 children are six-fingered, then the chance of mom always donating the six-fingered allele randomly is (1/2)^20 -- not very likely (1 in a million since 2^10 is about 1000). These odds are actually much better than when you play the lottery.

2. The male must have the six-fingered allele and a Y chromosome. Thus the daughters will always get a six-fingered allele from dad and the sons will get the Y chromosome from dad. Mom is either homozygous for the five-fingered allele (if it is recessive) or she is heterozygous with the five-fingered allele being dominant. If she is heterozygous with the five-fingered allele being dominant, then 1/2 the boys should be five-fingered and 1/2 should be six-fingered. Likewise 1/2 the girls should be five-fingered and the other half should be six-fingered. If five-fingered is recessive, then all the boys must be five-fingered and all the girls six-fingered. This is not the case for the boys, so if the trait is sex-linked, then the five-fingered allele must be dominant.

3. This would imply autosomal. If six-fingered is autosomal dominant and the male is homozygous, then all of the offspring should be six-fingered. This is most likely the case.

4. As calculated earlier, the chance of getting the above results is one in a million if the male is heterozygous. Possible, but not likely.

makes plenty of sense to me. basically, the pattern of inheritance for polydactyly (ie. having extra digits) is autosomal dominant, and i read somewhere that the trait also exhibits complete penetrance and variable expressivity.

if this is what u're voicing (as i presume most of u are), u can stop right here :)

curiosity killed the cat, they say... so by all means, read on!


*the following review is far from comprehensive but will do for the purposes of this post*

  • humans carry 23 pairs of chromosomes. the sex chromosomes make up one pair. there are 2 kinds of sex chromosomes: X and Y. (females are XX and males are XY.) the other 22 pairs are called autosomes. so, if a trait is sex-linked, that means the corresponding gene is found on a sex chromosome (ie. whether or not u carry or express that trait depends on whether u're a guy or a girl). autosomal means that the trait expressed by the gene is found on an autosome (ie. the trait has nothing to do with whether u're a guy or a girl).

  • genes usually exist in more than one form, and each form is called an allele. we get 2 alleles per gene that are present in an autosome pair--one from mom and one from dad. (sex chromosomes are a bit different but i won't get into that here.) an allele is either dominant or recessive.

  • let's use eye-colour as an example. having brown eyes is a dominant trait, so let's represent it with a capital B. having blue eyes is a recessive trait, so let's represent it with a small b. since we have two alleles for our eye-colour gene (one from each parent), we have one of the following combinations: BB, Bb, bB, or bb. of course, if u carry only brown-eyed alleles (ie. BB) then ur eyes would be brown, and if u carry only blue-eyed alleles (ie. bb), then ur eyes would be blue. but what if u carry one of each?

  • if an allele is dominant, that means it will override the recessive allele. therefore, if u have one brown-eyed allele and one blue-eyed allele (ie. Bb or bB--same thing), u will end up having brown eyes. a homozygous combination is made up of two of the same alleles (eg. BB or bb) and a heterozygous combination is made up two different alleles (eg. Bb).

  • soooo... let's bring it back to the six-fingered trait. it's autosomal dominant, which means that the polydactyl gene (let's represent polydactyly with a capital D and the five-fingered gene with a small d) is on one of the non-sex chromosomes, and it is always expressed in the homozygous combo of DD or even if only one copy of the gene is present, as in the heterozygous combo of Dd.

  • now what does it mean to have complete penetrance? in this case, the mutation of six fingers has complete penetrance because its symptoms are present in all individuals who carry this mutation. that is, if u carry a D, it's gonna show without question. other genes may have what's called incomplete penetrance which means that even if u carry it, u don't show it.

  • lastly, what does variable expressivity mean? in the case of the six-fingered gene, variable expressivity means that the type and severity of the six-fingered mutation can vary. for example, if u have a D, u can have an extra thumb, or only a part of a thumb, while another person also carrying a D can have an extra index finger.


hmm... looking at my explanation, i don't think i made things any less complicated. oh well, that's genetics (and grace) for ya ;)

Friday, April 15, 2005

it's about time!!!

so after all these years of playing softball (since '97 i believe?) i finally finally FINALLY bought myself a glove!! holy crap, i can't believe i waited this long... it's amazing how being in a position of "leadership" can make a person do things they normally wouldn't do. anyway, i'm fairly pleased with my new glove. it was on sale at canadian tire for a little over $40... an easton, all black, 14" (yah it's kinda big, but i like 'em that way) and it's already soft enough for me to open and close, which is good cuz then i can hang on to the ball after i've caught it. and the glove fits well enough so that it doesn't go flying off my hand when i make a catch... i hope.

Wednesday, April 13, 2005

nostril post, dedicated to puss

i've been meaning to bring up this topic for so long that i forget how it all came about in the first place. i only remember talking to puss about it at some point and promising him that i'd blog about it. and i already had some sort of idea about breathing in through only one nostril at a time. probably a flashback from some lecture. of course, after that blog on antibodies a while back, i know better than to try to dig through my notes to find what i'm looking for :P the net was actually quite friendly to me this time around. and so, without further ado, i present to u some interesting facts about the nasal cycle:

- yes, there is such thing as a nasal cycle

- while one nasal cavity is functionally active*, the opposite side is 'resting'

- in other words, we alternate between the two nostrils when we breathe

- more accurately, we have asymmetrical airflow through our nasal passages

- the cycle takes 2 hours on average, but it varies per person and with age

- we don't notice the switch-over because the total nasal resistance remains fairly constant (due to the fact that the changes between the nasal passages tend to be reciprocal)

- what that means is the increase and decrease in resistance balances out between the two nostrils; we can't tell the difference because we're still inhaling the same amount of air

*mucosal swelling leading to decreased blood flow and increased nasal resistance


the following tidbits are interesting, but i'm not sure how scientifically proven they are:

- the nasal cycle may correspond with brain function, with the electrical activity of the brain found to be greater on the side opposite the less congested nostril

- for example, if ur left nostril were less obstructed, the right side of ur brain would be more predominant and u would perform better with creative tasks; if ur right nostril were less obstructed, then the left side of ur brain would be predominant and u would have increased logical and verbal activity

- those practicing yoga believe that a lot of disease is due to the nasal cycle being disturbed

- for example, they claim that prolonged breathing through the left nostril only (over a period of years) will produce asthma; however, by simply teaching the patient to breathe through the right nostril, the asthma can actually be cured

- yogis also believe that diabetes is caused to a large extent by breathing mainly through the right nostril

Monday, April 04, 2005

this can't be right

i've always been an advocate of geeks and nerds everywhere... having been one myself once upon a time (and still a bit of one to this day), i've learned to appreciate their quirks and unique insights. whether i'm laughing with them or at them, the point is they make me laugh. and when is humour not a good thing? and contrary to popular opinion, geeks and nerds are cool in their own right and make very interesting company once u give them the chance. however, the actual dictionary entries for 'geek' really threw me off:

geek n. slang
  • a person regarded as foolish, inept, or clumsy.
  • a person who is single-minded or accomplished in scientific or technical pursuits but is felt to be socially inept
  • a carnival performer whose show consists of bizarre acts, such as biting the head off a live chicken
geez louise. do people really have these definitions in mind when they call other people geeks?

the 'nerd' entries aren't much better (with the exception of the last entry):

nerd n. slang
  • a foolish, inept, or unattractive person [*oh yah, that's great, just throw 'unattractive' in there, ya big dictionary-writing bully! as though 'clumsy' weren't bad enough]
  • an insignificant student who is ridiculed as being affected or studying excessively
  • pejorative applied to anyone with an above-average IQ and few gifts at small talk and ordinary social rituals
  • [jargon] term of praise applied (in conscious ironic reference to previous connotations) to someone who knows what's really important and interesting and doesn't care to be distracted by trivial chatter and silly status games
WELL. i don't care to be further distracted by silly status games, do u? i shall put an end to this trivial chatter right now.


Tuesday, March 29, 2005

a reason to celebrate

i just wanna give a shout out to my dear sister lynn who was baptized this past Easter Sunday... i'm rejoicing with u! God-willing, we'll be seeing more of each other in the future... *ahem* t-n--l- *cough* ;)

insulin and aging 101 (as promised)

this post is dedicated to those who love science as much as i do :) i've presented the information in a simple, easy-to-follow format for the benefit of anyone willing enough to read on.


insulin-resistance and its contribution to aging

key point: too much insulin in the blood has profound pro-aging effects

let's start with the basics:

  • carbohydrates are made up of glucose molecules
  • when glucose enters the blood, within minutes your pancreas secrete the hormone insulin
  • why? - to get the glucose out of your bloodstream and into your cells ASAP
  • how? - your cells have receptors (like trapdoors) for insulin; a cell needs insulin first (via receptor sites) in order to be able to absorb and metabolize glucose
  • as you age, your cells lose more and more of these insulin receptors

so what??

let me use this example:

a five-year-old and a fifty-year-old each have a scoop of ice cream

- five-year-old:

  • little insulin secreted
  • sugar quickly cleared from blood
  • insulin levels quickly return to normal

- fifty-year-old:

  • a lot more insulin secreted (to make up for the delay in finding the few insulin receptors that are left)
  • sugar takes longer to be cleared from blood
  • insulin levels take longer to return to normal (ie. more insulin in the blood for a longer period of time)

again... so what??

when your insulin levels are high:

  • your body is adding fat onto your waistline
  • your blood pressure goes up
  • your triglycerides go up (triglycerides are what make up body fat, like how glucose molecules make up carbohydrates)
  • you feel tired all the time (because it takes longer to get glucose into your cells; remember that your cells use glucose as fuel, and a slowed-down metabolism of glucose means that your cells aren't getting all the fuel that they need to function top-notch)
  • your kidneys retain salt and fluids, which further elevates your blood pressure
  • your arterial walls get thicker and harder -> a precursor to heart disease and poor *peripheral circulation (*in other words, blood has a harder time circulating in your skin and you slowly lose your skin's radiance and elasticity, resulting in wrinkles)

are you scared of insulin yet? there's more:

  • as long as insulin levels remain elevated, the effects will override your dieting efforts and make it nearly impossible to take off fat
  • any intake of carbohydrates will trigger the production of a LOT of insulin to carry out what used to be a small clean-up job (back when your cells had way more insulin receptors)
  • a LOT of insulin will of course linger in the blood longer than a LITTLE insulin
  • as time goes by, blood sugar goes up and stays up longer because the cells are doing a poorer job of bringing in insulin... and the result? even more insulin is produced!

what does a high blood sugar level lead to?

  • GLYCATION - one of the biggest reasons we age
  • when glucose levels are elevated in the blood, glucose attaches to proteins or DNA instead of being utilized as fuel for energy
  • this irreversibly compromises the function of the protein or DNA (that is, the cell won't work like it originally used to, and this degeneration promotes aging)

last but not least, insulin's extended presence:

  • activates cholesterol-making machinery
  • did you know that eating red meat has a relatively tiny effect on your cholesterol levels compared to that of a moderately (not even highly, but moderately!) elevated insulin level?? the cholesterol you eat is only responsible for 20-30% of your circulating levels; the rest is manufactured courtesy of insulin!
  • the key point is that eating carbohydrates ultimately has more impact on your cholesterol levels than eating high-fat foods

conclusion: insulin-related metabolic changes foster aging and associated major degenerative changes such as obesity, heart disease, and type 2 diabetes. simply put, insulin has a great deal to do with how gracefully or poorly you age.

Wednesday, March 23, 2005

mmm... chocolate...

i've always liked chocolate... but it's been a while since i've consumed it so voraciously or in such massive quantities. i have a stash of chocolate in my room that i've managed to maintain for those momentary cravings, but that stash is on the verge of extinction! i'm inhaling the stuff, seriously. i dunno what's come over me. and frankly, i'm a bit concerned as to where all that junk is going or what it's doing to my body... my insulin's probably going nuts with all that glucose in my blood... speaking of which, i read something the other day about the role of insulin in aging... crazy interesting.

but maybe for another post.

Thursday, March 17, 2005

muay thai day

i hope no one irish reads my post today :P being a new ong bak/tony jaa fan and all, i was checking out a bunch of sites and i happened to stumble across this piece of information on the muay thai section of the australian ong bak site (go check it out! the other links too!):

"In 1767, Thailand was at war with the Burmese and a champion [Thai] boxer Nai Kahnomtom was captured by the Burmese king Angwa. King Angwa called for a boxing match, the first Muay Thai match outside of Thailand and Nai Kahnomtom defeated all ten Burmese challengers in succession, with no rest at all between the ten fights.

"As a result, Nai Khanomtom was honored as The Father of Muay Thai and the day of the fight, March 17th is now officially named ‘Muay Thai day’ in Thailand."

what are the chances i'd discover that today?? so yah, i figured recognition of muay thai day ought to take precedence over st. patrick's day... on my blog, at least :)

Tuesday, March 15, 2005

take my breath away!

aaaaaaahhhhhhhhh!!!!! can i say WOW?!?!


i cannot remember the last time a movie has taken my breath away like ong bak. and i don't mean screenplay or cinematography or special effects or whatever... i mean tony jaa and his moves. period. the "no stunt doubles, no computer graphics, no strings attached" tony jaa. dayam! i couldn't even sit still throughout the movie... haha, u shoulda seen me on my couch flinging my elbows and legs around and heard all the ruckus i was making... i got sooo totally into the action! beautiful! the elbows, the knees! the elbow-knee combos! on top of the stunts and everything else! holy crap, the skills!! amazing... the guy just blows me away!! i gotta give mad props to muay thai (someone should be pleased to hear that :P) cuz tony jaa really knew how to bring it! if u're into martial arts or action and u haven't seen ong bak, GO SEE IT!!

Wednesday, March 09, 2005

xx pov

a lot of the book of proverbs talks about the 'wayward woman' and how deceptive she is and how to avoid all her evil traps and enticing ways lest she lure u in and prey on u and add u to her long and growing list of victims... yah yah ok, fine, but what about the 'wayward man'?? when i first read proverbs, i remember thinking to myself how one-sided solomon's advice was... what about the other way around? what kind of men are women supposed to avoid? anyway, i went through the book again recently and i found a verse for us ladies [proverbs 20:6] :

Many a man claims to have unfailing love, but a faithful man who can find?

haha... good one solomon, thanks for coming through for us :)

Monday, March 07, 2005

baby talk

"hmm... pretty good deal on this high chair.
dun gotta pay for it til i'm three years old.
i should have more than enough by then!"

Tuesday, March 01, 2005

kill bill | mystery song

so i watched kill bill for the first time tonight.


there was this song that came on several times in the movie and even during the credits (i think the first time it came on was when the bride was being given her sword) and when i heard it, i was like, hey i know that song! i love that song. it totally brought back memories. but i dunno what it's called. i first heard it in regina... channel 4 (cbc i believe?) used to run this short animation thingy between programs and they had this one animation about a bird... two birds actually... one bird was plain-looking and the other bird was grand and beautiful, and the plain-looking bird wished that it could look like the beautiful bird. the whole thing was so sad... the bird trying so hard to be what it wasn't because it couldn't see its own beauty. anyway, that song was the background music for the animation and i fell in love with both the song and the story. (there's something about the song that just makes me wanna cry... maybe it's that beautiful pan flute playing.) i've wanted to know what the song was called but it's been a decade since my regina days and i've forgotten about it til now. i suppose i could just look it up on the net... but i probably won't. i'll just continue to let it be that mystery song i love so much :)

for hire

anyone need their driveways shovelled?

let me know :P

Tuesday, February 22, 2005

goofin' around :)

so i bonded with my dad this past wknd... took a bunch of test pics with his new super digital camera and i dunno what came over us but we went crazy making silly faces :P click here for a small sample:


Wednesday, February 16, 2005

a pointless entry

so i've been sick the past coupla weeks... a lot better now, but i did go to the doctor at one point. he prescribed some antibiotics that i ended up not getting... too cheap to buy medicine for myself so i left my immune system to do its own fighting. anyway, i was recently thinking about how i never bought my antibiotics (why would i be thinking that? i dunno, and please dun ask me) and that got me thinking about antibodies and i suddenly recalled a lecture in which the prof mentioned that we're born with all the antibodies (or means to produce them) that we'll ever need in our lifetime... or something along those lines. but i wasn't sure whether the memory was real or i was just making it up. i tried to google 'antibodies' but i've always sucked at online searches and there was too much info for me (plus not enough patience on my part) to sift through everything to find what i wanted to find. so i decided to go through my university binders... didn't even know where to start since a lot of my courses covered antibodies at some point and i couldn't remember which prof or what course... i leafed through as many binders as i had patience for, found lots of notes on antibodies, but i couldn't find what i wanted to verify. so yah... now i'm all flustered and confused (what's new)... i mean, maybe i did make it up after all... this is really gonna bug me now...

i told u this was gonna be a pointless entry :P

Monday, February 14, 2005

the heart of the matter

“Teacher, which is the greatest commandment in the Law?” Jesus replied:
‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart
and with all your soul and with all your mind.’
This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it:
‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’
Matthew 22:36-39

“As the Father has loved me, so have I loved you. Now remain in my love.
If you obey my commands, you will remain in my love,
just as I have obeyed my Father's commands and remain in his love.
I have told you this so that my joy may be in you
and that your joy may be complete.
My command is this:
Love each other as I have loved you.
Greater love has no one than this,
that he lay down his life for his friends.
John 15:9-13

For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son,
that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.
John 3:16

Who shall separate us from the love of Christ?
Shall trouble or hardship or persecution
or famine or nakedness or danger or sword?
No, in all these things we are more than conquerors
through him who loved us.
For I am convinced that
neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons,
neither the present nor the future, nor any powers,
neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation,
will be able to separate us from the love of God
that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.
Romans 8:35, 37-39

This is how we know what love is:
Jesus Christ laid down his life for us.
And we ought to lay down our lives for our brothers.
If anyone has material possessions and sees his brother in need
but has no pity on him, how can the love of God be in him?
Dear children,
let us not love with words or tongue
but with actions and in truth.
1 John 3:16-18

Love is patient,
love is kind.
It does not envy,
it does not boast,
it is not proud.
It is not rude,
it is not selfseeking,
it is not easily angered,
it keeps no record of wrongs.
Love does not delight in evil
but rejoices with the truth.
It always protects,
always trusts,
always hopes,
always perseveres.
Love never fails.
And now these three remain: faith, hope and love.
But the greatest of these is love.
1 Corinthians 13:4-8, 13